Sometimes we come across people
we like hoping that they would like us back. But however, this person might
just be so wounded from past relationships that at the moment they are
emotionally unavailable and have baggage so full it can fill an airport terminal.
Even with that, we tend to think that perhaps with us it just might be
different…why? Because you think you can see past their problems, and see
potential in them….But hey
That’s the problem….
When someone isn't
ready to be in a relationship, or they seem to have limited access to their
emotions, or they seem to be terrified of intimacy to the point where they get
clammy at the thought of commitment, at that point, it doesn't matter if your
love is as big as an ocean or comes in a platinum case with a nice bow on it
promising the sun, moon and stars or even the world. If they say they don’t
want it…they just don’t want it simples. Nothing you can do about that. It
doesn't matter who you are or the kind of love you offer..at that point, you
could be anyone and until they resolve their issues, you will not extract a
loving relationship from them. As the saying goes ‘you can drag a horse to the
river, but you can’t force it to drink’
You may see past their problems
and feel that you love them in spite of their baggage and may see yourself as
all loving and caring and all the nice things you think you and your love can
offer, but how you see you, is not how they see you.
No matter what you say or do,
they perceive you, by the very fact that you’re either in a relationship with
them, or hankering for one, that you want, need, or expect more than they’re
prepared to be wanted, needed, and expected from.
If you've been with a Mr or Mrs
unavailable, you won’t be the first person that has ever felt something for
them.
Sometimes, we make the mistake of
expending copious amounts of energy ‘running on the spot’ by investing
ourselves and emotions into limited relationships with people that have a
limited ability and capacity for love, which in turn creates a limited result.
You don’t want to be an
equivalent of that pushy used car salesman that doesn't know when to back off.
It doesn't translate well to relationships.
If they can’t see past their
problems and insecurities, what is the point in you doing it for them? You
can’t do all the loving, security, responsibility, accountability, trusting,
caring, and respecting in the relationship.
They don’t have to want your
love. This is not a yard sale where you think ‘it’s cheap! Someone should want
it!’ ehn ehn.
The moment someone doesn't want
you, you need to be asking yourself why you’re still wanting them. Period. Now
don’t get me wrong, this doesn't mean you should switch off your feelings
automatically but you should be coming back to earth at this point with a very
loud, resounding bump.
Alarm bells should be ringing! If
they’re not -my alarm bells are ringing for you!
More importantly, don’t treat
your love like a hot potato that you can’t wait to offload and certainly don’t
put your life on hold because you’re stuck ‘loving’ someone that doesn't love
you. Their lack of interest is a red flag….Use it to extricate yourself out of
what will become an even more painful situation if you don’t back off. There is
better out there for you…best believe it.
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